Almost
by Harlequins Tale
Summary: A short fiction based on Dean's feelings after the episode When the Levee Breaks.  Disclaimer: I don't own Sam or Dean they are Eric Kripke's invention but I love them.


Ok here is a short little fic I wrote for a friend. It's a short angsty fic that all took place shortly after the final scene of When The Levee Breaks

**Almost. **

The stain on the ceiling disappeared then reappeared. The room was so silent he could hear the rasp of his eyelashes as his eyes opened and closed. The tears had long since dried on his face but the physical pain remained.

He lay where Sam had left him after their fight slowly letting the pain that had threatened to erupt finally travelled along his nerve endings till the ache in his heart was almost clouded.

_Almost!_

The argument they had just had was possibly the worst ever. Dean had told him to leave and suddenly he realised how their dad must of felt closing the door on Sam when he left before. Pushing himself up from the floor he gasped as his ribs flared.

Stumbling down the corridor from the room he headed towards the car park.

The words he'd said to Sam played over and over, _**'If you walk out of that door don't you ever come back.' **_Their dad had said those exact words as Sam left for Stanford and Dean hated the fact he'd said those same words in an almost similar situation.

Except John hadn't just been attacked and over a demon to make the whole fight slightly more worrying.

All of his life he had tried to be like his Dad. The way he dressed, the music he listened too but most of all the way he hunted. He'd always followed his Dad's orders like a good little soldier. He'd always been told to watch out for Sam. Now he was letting his own anger push him away.

No wait he was letting Sam's anger push him away no wait it was Sam's naivety because of that damn demon.

Whatever it was Sam had gone. He sighed as he wiped a hand across his face.

The action didn't clear the thought of Sam's face filled with anger and ferocity in which he'd attacked him. Sam's face twisted and warped until Dean couldn't recognise any features. Two black eyes stared from furrowed brows. Shaking his head the image faded. _Almost!_

Sam had defended Ruby over him. Why would or rather how could he trust her? The anger he had felt towards Ruby still flared as he thought of Sam being alone with her. Clenching his fists until his nails dug into the flesh making him gasp.

The fact that his brother was drinking blood from a black eyed skank of a demon made it even worse.

Licking his lips he could taste the metallic tang of his own blood on the tip of his tongue. What was it like tasting her blood? Was it as cloying as the smell of sulphur in the air when a demon took over your body?

Dean couldn't understand what had lead Sam to do something like that.

Well partly it was his fault.

The hell deal had left Sam torn and the fact that there had been no way to save Dean from the pit made everything more difficult. How Sam could have trusted Ruby as soon as he realised that she couldn't save him either? It was bad enough to imagine them together. In fact it was brain stabbing imagery.

Shuddering he felt a wave of nausea hit him hard and he slumped to his knees.

He didn't want to admit how worried he was at first. He thought that Sam would see sense. The whole process of drying him out hadn't achieved anything other than rousing some angry tension within him.

Sam was changing his whole outlook on what was right and what was wrong.

He'd almost become exactly what they hunted. _Almost! _

How long could that last? Well considering he was immune a demon virus anything was possible. Getting to his feet he stumbled towards the car.

Dean was tired. He was so tired of everything. Closing his eyes he let his forehead rest on the Impala's window.

Closing his eyes he could see the young Sam so unsure of himself despising and hating the life he was involved in had now been replaced by a man who was obsessed with revenge.

Revenge to what end?

Dean felt torn between two forces both of which had him angry, confused and now alone.

The pain had almost ceased to an incessant throb. _Almost! _

Dean doubted that he and Sam could ever escape and get over what had happened between them.

Dean felt the black hole deep in his soul flex and twist within him.

Sam had almost been able to keep that hole from opening further even though Dean knew that he had been keeping things from him he hadn't cared.

Turning on the engine he wiped his face again feeling the stubble graze his palm. Where did he go? The fabric of his universe was breaking but he was holding it together well... _almost._


End file.
